I’m about to buy my first flat in London.
This is really exciting and scary and you can read about my journey here.
Alongside my excitement and pride, however, has been a range of unexpected emotions including fear, anxiety and a sense niggling doubt.
As I’ve spoken about in this blog, I feel that our current culture doesn’t do commitment very well.
The only constant in my life until now has been change.
Since moving to London in 2013 I’ve moved jobs every two years. I’ve lived in five different parts of the city, with different housemates. I’ve had short-term relationships and made (and lost touch with) a number friends.
This concept of settling is therefore somewhat alien to me.
The word settling is not one I would have traditionally encouraged either for myself or others either.
I’m the first to tell people to expect more from life, and for myself too, have very high expectations. I’m constantly striving – a chronic over-achievier. People who know me will tell you that I’m determined, wilful, optimistically ambitious.
However with constant striving, comes constant questioning. And questioning, as I’ve learnt only too recently, is tiring.
Questioning your priorities, goals, where to live, what to work on, who to spend time with… all really important decisions. They deserve a lot of thought and attention. These decisions I now choose to step into with a sense of security. I’m ready to settle into those decisions and stop trying to change things for the hope that there is something better around the corner.
Roosted was born out of my realisation that in in buying this flat, I am settling.
I’m locked into a five year mortgage.
I’m coming to terms with the idea settling.
But what does settling look like for me?
Well firstly, buying a home and the things that come with this, like buying furniture, getting life insurance, learning how to do DIY.
But in settling into this flat, I’m essentially saying YES to my life as it is right now.
This scares me.
Settling scares me because living on the edge of possibility excites me.
Buying this flat removes the possibility of leaving the country. Of quitting my job and steady income to start a business. Of following a guy across the world for love.
Settling involves closing off potential doors.
… But settling also opens others.
What possibilities might open for me, through settling into this life I’ve designed?
This acceptance is a process I am coming to look at as a mindset shift.
A shift towards peace in decision making.
Finding the people I most want to do life with.
Committing to a job, that whilst not be perfect, provides a huge amount of satisfaction and opportunity.
Committing to a location, its community and quirks and its people that live in it. Old friends, new friends and neighbours alike.
But with settling also comes refinement, as I continue to refine the areas of life that make settling great.
For me, it’s about work, routines, passion projects, relationships and home improvements.
I hope you’ll join me in exploring what it looks like to design a life worth settling into.
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Editor @ Roosted.co